Femmes Br@nchées #_ :: Bye Bye Barbara

1996-12-14 12:30 - 16:30

Performance by Kim Sawchuk. This is the script of a short performance piece, with musical accompaniment on the kazoo.


Bye Bye Barbara

presented Dec. 14, 1996 at studio XX
by Kim Sawchuk

This is the script of a short performance piece, with musical accompaniment on the kazoo.


This is a Political Service Anouncement brought to you by Studio XX.


I'm Kim Sawchuk.


We love you Conrad
Oh yes we do
We love you Conrad
And we'll be true
Because you're with us
We're blue
Oh Conrad we love you!

That's blue as in neo-conservative Tory blue.This isn't Baywatch. It's Barb watch. More specifically Barbara Amiel-Black watch.

Former editor of the Toronto Sun, columnist for McLeans magazine and the London Telegraph, as well as an author of several books of non-fiction, Ms. Amiel Black's malignant presence seems to be growing. She is now International Affairs Correspondent for the Southam Presses, as well as vice president of Hollinger Inc. a world wide media conglomerate owned by her husband, Mr. C.

That's Conrad, Conrad Black who controls the shares of over 60 percent of the newspapers in English Canada. Conrad maintains that we shouldn't be concerned about this monopoly. He can separate ideology from ownership. He has brought Canadians nothing but quality reporting- like the writings of Barbara Amiel Black.

wedding march on kazoo...


This dynamic neo-Con duo, Barbara and Conrad, were married in a civil cermony in London, England on July 21, 1992.

Now, don't confuse this Barbara with those other benign Barbara's: Barbara Streisand, Barbara Walters, Barbara Frum or even Barbara Bush, add a Barbara of your own. This Barbie is no doll.

Although she now resides in England, Barbara Amiel Black is our own home grown "lady against women." And if any of you caught her on this Hour Has Twenty Two Minutes she seems to be acquiring an accent. A British accent. A British upper class accent. It must be from rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous like Lady Di, Lord King, and Henry Kissinger who have all been spotted at recent dinner parties. Oh yes, it's Dynasty Canajun style.

Barbara and Conrad; Conrad and Barbara. She supplies the glitz, the taste they say, he the bucks.

But why, oh why, am I wasting my breathe and your time providing a Political Service Announcement on a woman who I so gleefully love to despise?

Quality reporting.

Maybe you've read one of her McLean's articles, such as:

"Firing a 'hooker' is an employers right" (Dec. 18, 1995)

"The madness of the unisex experiment" (Aug. 28, 1995)

"Baleful feminism and O.J. Simpson" (Feb. 6, 1995)

or my personal favorite,
"In defense of elitism: benefits for everyone" (July 31, 1995)

I'm confused and a little concerned as a writer and a member of Studio XX.

After all Ms. Barbara Amiel Black has suggested that if you want to promote Canadian literature, "you can do more by giving to the defense budget than to agencies like the Canada Council. " (May 1, 1995) But 's not only the headlines. This is a woman connected to powerful interests like the National Business Council a right wing lobby group in Ottawa who awarded Ms. Amiel Black their highest accolade for defending her brand of individualism and the rights of the free market against creeping statism.


Me and me against the world, Sometimes it feels like me and me against the world...

Perhaps you have noticed her syndicated International Affairs Column on page B6 of Saturday's Gazette, a paper now owned by Conrad. This intrepid International Affairs Columnist reports from abroad, warning of the dangers of excessive liberalism at fault for "poor education; rising health care; young criminals; and welfare dependency." (Aug. 31, 96)

More than once she has made me steamed. International Affairs columnist. Now normally, this is the type of editorial position that you would expect to be about worldly political issues. And sometimes it is. But sometimes it is political in ways unexpected.

To give credit where credit is due our Ms. Amiel Black dains to discuss issues domestic in her International Affairs column, giving a whole new meaing to that phrase the "personal is political". Issues like "Violence: a private affair: British soccer player shouldn't be vilified because his wife has a black eye and bruises." (Nov. 9, 1996) After all, a little aggressive behaviour by men is natural, unlike the horrid unnaturalness of same sex couples and gay parents .

Natural and unnatural are favorite terms in her vocabularly and she seems able to divine who is on what side of this border. It must be divination since most of her writing is low on research and high on bombastic rhetoric.

Well fight fire with fire I say. And that's why I'm here today.

Our Barbara seems particularly vexed feminism, insipid daughter of liberalism, specifically blamed for mixed sex hospital wards, the demise of the modern family, and of course the sorry condition of "Henpecked men who carry feminist torch" Yes, a "feminised society" deprives we women of these take-charge men. " (Nov. 23, 1996)

Men like Conrad Black?

Perhaps she should be concerned about such issues. After all, this is her third marriage. (meow)

But I guess that this time she found Mr. Right!

Barbara Amiel is a woman of power, no let me rephrase that an anti-feminist, homophobe occupying her own version of the moral high ground. A murky stew of libertarianism spiced by financial comfort- a dream world located on the other side of the pond where she can pontificate about the insipid character of all of us, francophones and anglophones, back here in the colonies.

Bye Bye blackbird on Kazoo...
(get audience to snap fingers and join in)


The world's a mess and life's the pits Don't blame the rich, blame feminists! Bye bye Barbara

The homeless or the single moms Forget them all, they're welfare scum Bye Bye Barbara

Life's too short to show any compassion By our papers, find out what's RIGHT in fashion

So if your bank account is low. That's too bad, we've got dough!!


Barbara BYE BYE!!!